Tick-tock your way through a hilarious collection of time puns that promise to deliver a good minute of chuckles and timeless humor.

It's About Time for Some Pun

Time is a construct that never stops, much like our love for a good pun. Whether you're clocking in for a laugh or just passing the minutes, these time-themed puns are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. From hours to seconds, no unit of time is safe from our playful wordplay. So, set your watches, because you're about to have a timely chuckle with each tick of the clock.

A Second to None Laugh

They say good things take time, but these puns are quick to deliver a smile.

1. I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist.
2. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
3. I had a dream I was a muffler last night, I woke up exhausted.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
5. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."
6. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
7. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
9. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
10. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
11. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
12. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
15. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
16. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
17. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
18. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
19. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

Minute Made Mirth

Savor these puns; they're designed to make every minute of your day more delightful.

1. Time puns are great because they're second to none.
2. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust.
3. A broken clock is right at least twice a day.
4. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
5. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
6. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.
8. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
9. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
10. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
11. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
12. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
13. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
14. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
15. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
16. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
17. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
18. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
19. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

Hour of Humor

These puns take a little longer to appreciate, but give them time—they're worth every minute.

1. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
3. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
7. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
8. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
9. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
10. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
11. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
12. What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me.
13. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
14. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
15. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
16. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
17. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
18. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
19. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
20. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

Chronologically Challenged

For those who find themselves frequently battling the clock, these puns are timeless.

1. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
2. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
3. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
5. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
6. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
7. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
10. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
11. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
12. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
15. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
16. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
17. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
18. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
19. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
20. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

Tick Talk

These puns are perfect for sharing during your next chat about the elusive nature of time.

1. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
3. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
7. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
10. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
11. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
12. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
15. A broken clock is right at least twice a day.
16. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
17. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
18. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
19. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
20. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.

Temporal Titters

These puns are perfect for those moments when time seems to stand still.

1. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
3. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
7. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
10. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
11. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
12. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
15. A broken clock is right at least twice a day.
16. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
17. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
18. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
19. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
20. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.

Periodically Funny

For the history buffs and science enthusiasts, these time-related puns span across all eras.

1. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
3. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
7. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
10. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
11. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
12. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
15. A broken clock is right at least twice a day.
16. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
17. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
18. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
19. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
20. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.

Era-sistible Humor

Travel through time with these puns that are sure to be a hit in any era.

1. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
3. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
4. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
7. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
9. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
10. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
11. Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
12. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
13. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
14. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.