Dive into the coolest rink of humor with our collection of hockey puns guaranteed to score big laughs and brighten your day.

Ice-Breaking Puns to Keep You Skating Through the Day

Whether you're a seasoned pro or just getting your feet wet on the ice, everyone loves a good laugh. Hockey, with its unique blend of speed, skill, and slapshots, provides the perfect backdrop for some pun-derful wordplay. From the rink to the locker room, here are some ice-melting puns that will have you skating through your day with a smile.

Slapshot Sillies

Ready to face off with humor? These slapshot sillies are sure to score some laughs.

1. Why do hockey players make excellent bakers? Because they're great at icing the competition.
2. What do you call a hockey player with a penchant for gardening? A power-plant forward.
3. Why was the computer so good at hockey? Because it had a hard drive for the net.
4. What do you get when you cross a famous hockey player with a mythical creature? Gretzky the Yeti.
5. How do hockey players stay cool under pressure? They just chill in the penalty box.
6. Why was the hockey team lost in the desert? They were looking for the face-off oasis.
7. What's a hockey player's favorite type of music? Ice-hop.
8. Why did the hockey player break up with the puck? They were tired of it always icing them out.
9. What's a ghost's favorite position in hockey? Ghoul-tender.
10. Why are hockey rinks so good at telling jokes? Because they always break the ice.
11. What's a hockey player's least favorite type of restaurant? Fast-break diners.
12. How do you know a hockey player is good at math? When they excel at power plays.
13. What kind of drink do hockey players prefer? Iced tea.
14. Why don't hockey players get hot? Because they always stay near the boards for cool air.
15. What's a hockey player's favorite type of story? A puck fiction.
16. Why did the hockey game get too hot? Because all the fans left.
17. What's a hockey player's favorite kitchen utensil? The zamboni knife.
18. Why do hockey players always carry a map? So they never get lost on the ice.

Penalty Puns

Caught in the sin bin? These penalty puns will help you serve your time with a grin.

1. Why did the hockey player get sent to the penalty box? For getting too chippy on the ice.
2. What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey? A Puck-asaurus Rex.
3. Why are hockey players never lonely in the penalty box? Because they always have a few minutes to reflect.
4. What's a hockey player's favorite board game? Penalty Monopoly.
5. Why did the hockey puck make a terrible friend? It was always getting slapped around.
6. What did the hockey player say to their broken stick? "You've really let me down on the ice."
7. Why do hockey players always carry a spare jersey? In case they get into a sticky situation.
8. What's a hockey goalie's favorite snack? Block cheddar cheese.
9. How did the hockey player propose? With an engagement ring...ette.
10. Why was the hockey player a great dancer? Because they knew how to shuffle off to Buffalo.
11. What do hockey players eat for dessert? Penalty peach pie.
12. Why was the hockey player always early? They hated missing the puck drop.
13. What's a hockey player's favorite type of pizza? Thin crust—so it's easier to slice!
14. Why was the Zamboni driver so well-respected? Because they always smoothed things over.
15. What do you call an intelligent hockey player? A smart puck.
16. Why was the hockey player a bad singer? Because they were always a little flat on the ice.
17. How do hockey players stay so fit? By sticking to a strict regimen of goals.
18. What's a hockey player's favorite holiday? New Year's Eve, because of the big countdown.

Rink-side Riddles

When the game's on ice, these rink-side riddles will make you think twice.

1. Why are hockey rinks the best places to reveal secrets? Because your words just glide away.
2. What do you call a hockey player with a map? A r-ink explorer.
3. Why did the hockey team bring a ladder to the game? They heard it would help with high-sticking penalties.
4. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with an insect? A puck-mosquito.
5. Why are hockey players great at school? They're fantastic at hitting the books.
6. What do you call a magical hockey play? A puck trick.
7. Why was the hockey player great at yoga? They were always flexible on the ice.
8. What's a hockey player's favorite type of coffee? Decaf—to avoid too many penalty shots.
9. How do hockey players communicate on the ice? With puck-sign language.
10. Why do hockey players always carry a needle? To stitch together a win.
11. What's a hockey player's favorite movie genre? Chillers.
12. Why did the hockey player bring a spoon to the game? They wanted to stir up some action.
13. What's the difference between a hockey player and time? Time ticks, but hockey players check.
14. Why are hockey games at night? Because that's when the stars come out.
15. What's a hockey player's favorite weather? When it's cool enough for ice but warm enough for fans.
16. Why did the hockey player sit in the stands? They wanted to check out the competition.
17. What do you call a hockey player who loves to read? A book-checker.
18. Why was the hockey player always calm? They knew how to keep their cool on the ice.

Net Gains and Losses

For every win, there's a loss, but these puns are all about having fun—no matter the score.

1. Why do hockey players avoid the internet? They don't want to get caught in the net.
2. What do you call a hockey player in the orchestra? A net-instrumentalist.
3. Why did the hockey net go to therapy? It had too many goals to deal with.
4. What's a goalie's favorite type of party? A block party.
5. Why was the hockey player always online? They were looking for the best net strategies.
6. What's a hockey player's favorite type of math? Geometry—for finding the best angles to score.
7. Why did the hockey player get a job at the bank? They were great at saving.
8. What do you call a fish that plays hockey? A puck-er fish.
9. Why was the hockey team so good at their jobs? Because they always followed through on their goals.
10. What's a hockey player's favorite breakfast? Goal-meal porridge.
11. Why did the hockey player go to art school? To improve their sketching penalties.
12. What do you call a hockey player that uses magic? A puck-wizard.
13. Why are hockey players great at hide and seek? Because they're masters of the disguise and deke.
14. What's a goalie's least favorite food? Score-dough bread.
15. Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game? They were ready for a triping penalty.
16. What do you call a sleep-deprived hockey player? A dream-deker.
17. Why are older hockey rinks so wise? They've seen many generations of ice.
18. What's a hockey fan's favorite type of chips? Puck-er chips with a side of salsa.

Offside Offerings

When you're not exactly playing by the rules, these offside offerings will keep you entertained.

1. Why did the hockey player refuse tea? Because they prefer penalty shots.
2. What do you call a forgetful hockey player? Someone who misses their check-up appointments.
3. Why are hockey players bad at secrets? Because they always spill the pucks.
4. What do you call an adventurous hockey player? A puckaneer.
5. Why did the hockey player always wear shoes? To avoid getting iced feet.
6. What's a hockey player's favorite fruit? Slapshot strawberries.
7. Why did the hockey player go to jail? For breaking the ice in all the wrong places.
8. What do you call a philosophical hockey player? A puck-thinker.
9. Why are hockey games so tense? Because every second counts towards the final buzzer.
10. What's a hockey player's favorite kind of drive? A zamboni cruise.
11. Why did the hockey player get a standing ovation? For their outstanding performance in the face-off circle.
12. What's a hockey player's favorite kitchen appliance? A freezer—for making homemade ice.
13. Why did the hockey team hire a comedian? To keep the spirits ice-high.
14. What's a hockey fan's favorite type of movie? One with a slapstick comedy.
15. Why did the hockey coach go to the bank? To secure a goal loan for new equipment.
16. What do you call a lazy hockey player? A puck potato.
17. Why was the hockey player a good judge? Because they knew when to call the shots.
18. What's a hockey player's favorite animal? A goal-den retriever.

Ice Capades of Comedy

Skating through life with a sense of humor, these ice capades of comedy are the perfect blend of wit and whimsy on the rink.

1. Why do hockey players love winter? Because it's the best time for icing their opponents.
2. What do you call a hockey player who's also a priest? A holy goalie.
3. Why was the hockey game so quiet? Because the players were all about icing and no talking.
4. What do you call a hockey player with a cold? An ice-olated case.
5. Why did the hockey player go to the bakery? To get a taste of the icing.
6. What's a hockey player's favorite type of party? An ice-breaker.
7. Why are hockey players great comedians? They know how to stick the punchline.
8. What do you call an angry hockey player? A hot-headed ice king.
9. Why did the hockey team hire a circus performer? For more entertaining puck tricks.
10. What's a hockey player's least favorite chore? Defrosting the freezer.
11. Why was the hockey player a great detective? They always followed the puck trails.
12. What's a hockey player's favorite type of car? An ice-mobile.
13. Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the competition.
14. What's a hockey goalie's favorite game? Block-buster.
15. Why was the hockey rink so well-liked? It was always the coolest place to be.
16. What do you call a hockey player's day off? A breakaway from the ice.
17. Why did the hockey player always eat beans? For more power plays.
18. What's a hockey player's favorite vegetable? Iceberg lettuce.

Puck Puns for the Win

When the game's all about the puck, you know these puns will make you chuckle and maybe even face-off with laughter.

1. Why did the puck go to school? To become a smart disc.
2. What do you call a really old hockey puck? Ancient ice-tery.
3. Why was the hockey puck always tired? It was constantly getting hit on.
4. What do you call a romantic hockey puck? A love disc.
5. Why did the puck stay so cool? It had a lot of fans.
6. What's a hockey puck's favorite kind of dance? The slapstick.
7. Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had attachment issues.
8. What do you call a hockey puck in a castle? The ice king.
9. Why did the puck cross the rink? To get to the other slide.
10. What's a hockey puck's least favorite weather? A warm spell.
11. Why was the puck a good leader? It always knew where to go.
12. What do you call a scared hockey puck? Chicken on ice.
13. Why did the puck make a good comedian? It was great at sliding into jokes.
14. What do you call a wealthy hockey puck? Rich and round.
15. Why was the puck so popular? It was the center of attention.
16. What's a hockey puck's favorite movie? Frozen.
17. Why did the puck stop moving? It hit a goal in life.
18. What do you call an enlightened hockey puck? Awakened on ice.

Goalie Gags

Guarding the net with a sense of humor, these goalie gags are a shutout when it comes to laughter.

1. Why did the goalie break up with the net? They felt too confined.
2. What's a goalie's favorite snack? Shutout cookies.
3. Why are goalies so calm? They're used to blocking out the stress.
4. What do you call a goalie who writes? A net-worthy author.
5. Why did the goalie refuse to play cards? They were tired of saving the game.
6. What's a goalie's least favorite movie? Breakaway.
7. Why did the goalie always win at chess? They were great at defense.
8. What do you call a goalie in math class? A problem solver.
9. Why did the goalie join the band? To keep the beat and block the hits.
10. What's a goalie's favorite type of workout? Crossbar crunches.
11. Why was the goalie a great cook? They knew how to block the burn.
12. What's a goalie's favorite holiday tradition? Saving