Dive into the coolest rink of humor with our collection of hockey puns guaranteed to score big laughs and brighten your day.
Ice-Breaking Puns to Keep You Skating Through the Day
Whether you're a seasoned pro or just getting your feet wet on the ice, everyone loves a good laugh. Hockey, with its unique blend of speed, skill, and slapshots, provides the perfect backdrop for some pun-derful wordplay. From the rink to the locker room, here are some ice-melting puns that will have you skating through your day with a smile.
Slapshot Sillies
Ready to face off with humor? These slapshot sillies are sure to score some laughs.
- Why do hockey players make excellent bakers? Because they're great at icing the competition.
- What do you call a hockey player with a penchant for gardening? A power-plant forward.
- Why was the computer so good at hockey? Because it had a hard drive for the net.
- What do you get when you cross a famous hockey player with a mythical creature? Gretzky the Yeti.
- How do hockey players stay cool under pressure? They just chill in the penalty box.
- Why was the hockey team lost in the desert? They were looking for the face-off oasis.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of music? Ice-hop.
- Why did the hockey player break up with the puck? They were tired of it always icing them out.
- What's a ghost's favorite position in hockey? Ghoul-tender.
- Why are hockey rinks so good at telling jokes? Because they always break the ice.
- What's a hockey player's least favorite type of restaurant? Fast-break diners.
- How do you know a hockey player is good at math? When they excel at power plays.
- What kind of drink do hockey players prefer? Iced tea.
- Why don't hockey players get hot? Because they always stay near the boards for cool air.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of story? A puck fiction.
- Why did the hockey game get too hot? Because all the fans left.
- What's a hockey player's favorite kitchen utensil? The zamboni knife.
- Why do hockey players always carry a map? So they never get lost on the ice.
Penalty Puns
Caught in the sin bin? These penalty puns will help you serve your time with a grin.
- Why did the hockey player get sent to the penalty box? For getting too chippy on the ice.
- What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey? A Puck-asaurus Rex.
- Why are hockey players never lonely in the penalty box? Because they always have a few minutes to reflect.
- What's a hockey player's favorite board game? Penalty Monopoly.
- Why did the hockey puck make a terrible friend? It was always getting slapped around.
- What did the hockey player say to their broken stick? "You've really let me down on the ice."
- Why do hockey players always carry a spare jersey? In case they get into a sticky situation.
- What's a hockey goalie's favorite snack? Block cheddar cheese.
- How did the hockey player propose? With an engagement ring...ette.
- Why was the hockey player a great dancer? Because they knew how to shuffle off to Buffalo.
- What do hockey players eat for dessert? Penalty peach pie.
- Why was the hockey player always early? They hated missing the puck drop.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of pizza? Thin crust—so it's easier to slice!
- Why was the Zamboni driver so well-respected? Because they always smoothed things over.
- What do you call an intelligent hockey player? A smart puck.
- Why was the hockey player a bad singer? Because they were always a little flat on the ice.
- How do hockey players stay so fit? By sticking to a strict regimen of goals.
- What's a hockey player's favorite holiday? New Year's Eve, because of the big countdown.
Rink-side Riddles
When the game's on ice, these rink-side riddles will make you think twice.
- Why are hockey rinks the best places to reveal secrets? Because your words just glide away.
- What do you call a hockey player with a map? A r-ink explorer.
- Why did the hockey team bring a ladder to the game? They heard it would help with high-sticking penalties.
- What do you get when you cross a hockey player with an insect? A puck-mosquito.
- Why are hockey players great at school? They're fantastic at hitting the books.
- What do you call a magical hockey play? A puck trick.
- Why was the hockey player great at yoga? They were always flexible on the ice.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of coffee? Decaf—to avoid too many penalty shots.
- How do hockey players communicate on the ice? With puck-sign language.
- Why do hockey players always carry a needle? To stitch together a win.
- What's a hockey player's favorite movie genre? Chillers.
- Why did the hockey player bring a spoon to the game? They wanted to stir up some action.
- What's the difference between a hockey player and time? Time ticks, but hockey players check.
- Why are hockey games at night? Because that's when the stars come out.
- What's a hockey player's favorite weather? When it's cool enough for ice but warm enough for fans.
- Why did the hockey player sit in the stands? They wanted to check out the competition.
- What do you call a hockey player who loves to read? A book-checker.
- Why was the hockey player always calm? They knew how to keep their cool on the ice.
Net Gains and Losses
For every win, there's a loss, but these puns are all about having fun—no matter the score.
- Why do hockey players avoid the internet? They don't want to get caught in the net.
- What do you call a hockey player in the orchestra? A net-instrumentalist.
- Why did the hockey net go to therapy? It had too many goals to deal with.
- What's a goalie's favorite type of party? A block party.
- Why was the hockey player always online? They were looking for the best net strategies.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of math? Geometry—for finding the best angles to score.
- Why did the hockey player get a job at the bank? They were great at saving.
- What do you call a fish that plays hockey? A puck-er fish.
- Why was the hockey team so good at their jobs? Because they always followed through on their goals.
- What's a hockey player's favorite breakfast? Goal-meal porridge.
- Why did the hockey player go to art school? To improve their sketching penalties.
- What do you call a hockey player that uses magic? A puck-wizard.
- Why are hockey players great at hide and seek? Because they're masters of the disguise and deke.
- What's a goalie's least favorite food? Score-dough bread.
- Why did the hockey player bring a suitcase to the game? They were ready for a triping penalty.
- What do you call a sleep-deprived hockey player? A dream-deker.
- Why are older hockey rinks so wise? They've seen many generations of ice.
- What's a hockey fan's favorite type of chips? Puck-er chips with a side of salsa.
Offside Offerings
When you're not exactly playing by the rules, these offside offerings will keep you entertained.
- Why did the hockey player refuse tea? Because they prefer penalty shots.
- What do you call a forgetful hockey player? Someone who misses their check-up appointments.
- Why are hockey players bad at secrets? Because they always spill the pucks.
- What do you call an adventurous hockey player? A puckaneer.
- Why did the hockey player always wear shoes? To avoid getting iced feet.
- What's a hockey player's favorite fruit? Slapshot strawberries.
- Why did the hockey player go to jail? For breaking the ice in all the wrong places.
- What do you call a philosophical hockey player? A puck-thinker.
- Why are hockey games so tense? Because every second counts towards the final buzzer.
- What's a hockey player's favorite kind of drive? A zamboni cruise.
- Why did the hockey player get a standing ovation? For their outstanding performance in the face-off circle.
- What's a hockey player's favorite kitchen appliance? A freezer—for making homemade ice.
- Why did the hockey team hire a comedian? To keep the spirits ice-high.
- What's a hockey fan's favorite type of movie? One with a slapstick comedy.
- Why did the hockey coach go to the bank? To secure a goal loan for new equipment.
- What do you call a lazy hockey player? A puck potato.
- Why was the hockey player a good judge? Because they knew when to call the shots.
- What's a hockey player's favorite animal? A goal-den retriever.
Ice Capades of Comedy
Skating through life with a sense of humor, these ice capades of comedy are the perfect blend of wit and whimsy on the rink.
- Why do hockey players love winter? Because it's the best time for icing their opponents.
- What do you call a hockey player who's also a priest? A holy goalie.
- Why was the hockey game so quiet? Because the players were all about icing and no talking.
- What do you call a hockey player with a cold? An ice-olated case.
- Why did the hockey player go to the bakery? To get a taste of the icing.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of party? An ice-breaker.
- Why are hockey players great comedians? They know how to stick the punchline.
- What do you call an angry hockey player? A hot-headed ice king.
- Why did the hockey team hire a circus performer? For more entertaining puck tricks.
- What's a hockey player's least favorite chore? Defrosting the freezer.
- Why was the hockey player a great detective? They always followed the puck trails.
- What's a hockey player's favorite type of car? An ice-mobile.
- Why did the hockey player bring a broom to the game? To sweep the competition.
- What's a hockey goalie's favorite game? Block-buster.
- Why was the hockey rink so well-liked? It was always the coolest place to be.
- What do you call a hockey player's day off? A breakaway from the ice.
- Why did the hockey player always eat beans? For more power plays.
- What's a hockey player's favorite vegetable? Iceberg lettuce.
Puck Puns for the Win
When the game's all about the puck, you know these puns will make you chuckle and maybe even face-off with laughter.
- Why did the puck go to school? To become a smart disc.
- What do you call a really old hockey puck? Ancient ice-tery.
- Why was the hockey puck always tired? It was constantly getting hit on.
- What do you call a romantic hockey puck? A love disc.
- Why did the puck stay so cool? It had a lot of fans.
- What's a hockey puck's favorite kind of dance? The slapstick.
- Why did the hockey puck go to therapy? It had attachment issues.
- What do you call a hockey puck in a castle? The ice king.
- Why did the puck cross the rink? To get to the other slide.
- What's a hockey puck's least favorite weather? A warm spell.
- Why was the puck a good leader? It always knew where to go.
- What do you call a scared hockey puck? Chicken on ice.
- Why did the puck make a good comedian? It was great at sliding into jokes.
- What do you call a wealthy hockey puck? Rich and round.
- Why was the puck so popular? It was the center of attention.
- What's a hockey puck's favorite movie? Frozen.
- Why did the puck stop moving? It hit a goal in life.
- What do you call an enlightened hockey puck? Awakened on ice.
Goalie Gags
Guarding the net with a sense of humor, these goalie gags are a shutout when it comes to laughter.
- Why did the goalie break up with the net? They felt too confined.
- What's a goalie's favorite snack? Shutout cookies.
- Why are goalies so calm? They're used to blocking out the stress.
- What do you call a goalie who writes? A net-worthy author.
- Why did the goalie refuse to play cards? They were tired of saving the game.
- What's a goalie's least favorite movie? Breakaway.
- Why did the goalie always win at chess? They were great at defense.
- What do you call a goalie in math class? A problem solver.
- Why did the goalie join the band? To keep the beat and block the hits.
- What's a goalie's favorite type of workout? Crossbar crunches.
- Why was the goalie a great cook? They knew how to block the burn.
- What's a goalie's favorite holiday tradition? Saving